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Saw this online and thought it was beautiful…..

如果有一天我消失了,你会不会害怕会不会发了疯地找我?然后因为找不到我而难过?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会在家里呆呆地坐着,傻傻地掉着泪等我?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会锁起日记,只为我开,只为我留言?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会每天无数次地点击我的空间,看我来过的痕迹?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会认真的用心看着我空间的每篇文章?然后发觉我其实挺爱你!
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会在半夜突然醒来,想我想到泣不成声?无法入眠?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会每天开着Q,开着游戏等我?
如果有一天我消失了,当你看到好友上线时会不会一阵紧张,以为是我?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会看着无聊的肥皂剧流泪?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会在街上走的时候想到我,想到蹲在地上哭泣?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会像上面我说的一样去做?
如果有一天你消失了,以上就是我的写照,如果你爱我,你也一定会,是吗?

如果有一天我消失了,不是因为我不爱你了,是因为我身不由己。
如果有一天我消失了,你一定要好好照顾你自己,不要再让我担心你。
如果有一天我消失了,那是因为我怕见到你,怕你告诉我你即将离去。
如果有一天我消失了,那是因为我心已死,需要有人来将那一道道伤痕抹去。
如果有一天我消失了,那是因为我得不到你的吻你的拥抱你的爱…

曾经以为恋爱就要轰轰烈烈一旦触动就一发不可收拾。
可是现实总是残酷,时间总是折磨人。
美好的时光总是很短暂 ,而长时间的美好却又是将来痛苦的根源。
回忆总是捉弄人,人总是被牵着走。
不管是男人女人大人小孩老人,都被玩弄于手掌。
如果有一天我消失了 ,你也不会找我的吧。
你会顺其自然等我出现,还说勉强没有幸福,该怎样就怎样世界上没有什么了不起的东西。
是啊…
我们已经不再年轻 ,不是以前冲动的小孩。
渐渐成熟懂得思考什么有利,什么没用。
不会再象以前那样傻傻的等,傻傻的追。

有时候,爱情会成为一种习惯。
习惯去照顾一个人,习惯被一个人照顾,习惯某个时间他出现,习惯某个时间他离开。
但往往,习惯是最可怕的东西。
如果有一天,他突然不在了…
第一天,你会觉得很庆幸,有一种被解放的自由。
第二天,没什么感觉,还可以很快乐。
第三天,心里好象少了点什么,心惶惶的,带着一些不安。
慢慢的,寂寞,孤独会象排山倒海一样袭来。
感觉做什么都不对,好象身体少了一部分,心空空的。
怎么样也填不满,怎么样也开心不起来。
终于,习惯,变成了,不习惯…
如果有一天我消失了,不能在你身旁照顾你,你会习惯吗?
也许是因为太在意所以才会太担心离开。
如果真的要离开,我不是害怕自己难过,而是害怕没有人能好好的照顾你,帮你分担。
如果有一天我消失了,请你一定要比我幸福。

亲爱的,如果我消失了,这将是我的遗书…
这是我第一次这样叫你,也可能是最后一次!
如果有一天我消失了,我还没告诉你其实我一直都在一个网站每天都写下对你的思恋和牵挂…
如果有一天我消失了,我还没有来得及告诉你,我真的准备和你一起走完此生…
如果有一天我消失了,我看不到有谁会为我哭泣,为我伤心!我想象有你,却无法证实。
如果有一天我消失了,有谁会来为我完成心里头一直放不下的事…
我以为我是一个视生命于不屑的人,是一个对生命没有眷念的人,但就在今天我忽然发现自己对死亡的恐惧,原来我也只是一个偶尔会发神经质的普通女人,无法做到无牵无挂的消失人间…
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会知道其实你是很爱我,其实你是真的很在乎我的?
如果有一天我消失了,你会不会一直等我?等我回到你身边…

是不是我真的消失了你才会发现身边还有个我?
是不是我真的消失了你才会想起来很想珍惜我?
是不是我真的消失了你才会知道怎么样来爱我?
是不是我真的消失了你才会感觉到当初我爱你?
是不是我真的消失了你才会舍得给我一私可怜?
是不是我真的消失了你才会明白你真的失去了?
是不是我真的消失了你才会懂得什么是真的爱?
是不是我真的消失了你才会伤心到想要再爱我

说好的幸福呢

周杰伦-说好的幸福呢
词:方文山曲:周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

so long so good

can’t believe that in the next 3 months, its gonna be year 2010…. things changed quite a bit this year with the new job and the going-to-be soon new status…

for the closed ones… the “big” day is going to be on the 3 November.. and nope, nothing had been prepared yet! We are just tossing the idea of having a really simple affair with the Rom plus a hi-tea for the family.. but will keep you gals updated.. will def.  love to have you around to share the joy :) … going to get the ring this sunday.. so it’s almost to be finalised ha ha..

Mixed feelings… happy but perhaps scared at the same times.. think it’s just the emotion thingy been the only daughter and seeing my mum cried when he “broke” the news to her… i wonder it’s the tears of joy or tears of “saddness” that i’m  leaving her in a way…. i broke down too knowing that it will be a different phrase of life… somehow it’s will be just different…

but i guess it made me grew up too dealing with all these emotions and finding the best solution for everyone… i just hope that the marriage will be a smooth journey… that’s all i ask for… no big wedding no big woo-ha… just a simple, cosy and blessing event…

friends…i really GETTING MARRIED !!! ha ha

the lovely birthday

it’s a late post… pardon me as i just recovery from all the madness and hang-over haha..

a BIG thank you for all the sends sms, leave a facebook message and of course the lovely friends that take their time to celebrate my so-called important day once a year…

And for those that ask me “how old i am?”, and i am still a proud and innocent 29 years old lady.. ha ha (ok i can see people go OH MY GOD!! You are still so young, i thought you are in your early 30s)… this is one of the most comments i gotten this year.. def not a good sign for the physical appearance.. but ok lar.. i expect it somehow with the maturity and wise advice i always gave ha ha (self deceive mode) :p

i got a BLAST this year celebrating with different group of my close friend and also had a memorable and so-called “Dramatic” proposal for the guy….

Kicking off with the fav. activity with the group at ALPS cafe, ktv-ing whole night long.. and the best present is Larry had IMPROVED so much ke ke… thanks pal for been there for me.. i really enjoyed myself.. like the old saying “it’s not important what we do, but the people are the most important”. I am truly glad that we are still the best pals for the longest years and def more to come.. Picturing us having hi-tea while the kids are at school :) PS: aiyo forget to take photo with our man – larry duh

best gals

A great night out with dinner at this i think is called Wu Zhi Liang at Jalan Sultan road, they really served some mean BBQ styled meats and i super love their BBQ taiwan sausages.. it’s all “china inspired” food… but i think it’s awesome. Was nice chatting and eating non-stop with mary, samantha, jenny and joni… very fulfilling night both in conversation and the almost blasting stomach! Ok lar, the highlights of that night is the dramatic proposal for him (for those closed one – you know the story) and i not going to go into details to spare him from the embarrassment…

loves

Photo003

Fabian brought Margaret and myself to L’Angelus French Restaurant located a club street. A good find and i will see myself returning to the restaurant coz I simply fall in love with the Creme Brulee! I think it is one of the best that i had so far…  An fabulous night out with the very expensive dinner-champagne-wine combination and the juicy updates!!! And the surprise bday cake and song.. thanks to Margaret who knows me so well,  she decided to move us out to the smoking area before the manager came with the cake and sang the song… i will be super uneasy if  i am in the restaurant having all this attention ..just not me ha ha i probably ask them to STOP ….

bday with mm and fl

more drinks on fridays with doe doe, ana and cindy… and WE forced him to do the kneeling down thingy ha ha… :p

super long post… i going to end here… good night peeps and CONGRATS again to MRS AW…. it’s a beautiful wedding that i attended… Ray and Belle’s Wedding on the 9 August 2009 :) .. guess probably the next one will be ms cherieladie hor – Congrats too on the Sparkling stone :)

so excited lar.. seeing all the best gals settling down and find their true love … ….. …. … so blissful feeling

hi world!!!

it’s been a long time since my last entry…

today marks my one month into the new job. Can’t comment much yet since eveything is still relatively new to me.. though i been complaining how bored i amha ha. guess been too used to the fast paced life in my ex-jobs.. and suddenly when things slow down, i feel a bit weird, and perhaps slightly insecure too..
hope things will pick up and i can truly emerged myself into the culture and work soon..

simply leading a peaceful and fulfilling life too. something that i had been longing to. I seriously thought that working every sat had somehow changed my past lifestyle, and it is definetly doing me good.

crazy you may thought, but i guess it’s really a signficant change (a good one) for myself….. and at lesat i don’t waste my weekend lying on the bed thinking what is the itinerary next.. been doing this for the past years and somehow wasted a lot of my youth and time ha ha

now, my priority is to concentrate on the new job and passed my ‘training’ in the new task, something that i really happy finally setting my mind in doing it… ..

and i think i’m ready to quit my smoking …. so wish me luck!

Second day into my new job, and i am already missing my old workstation… Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of having any personal space anymore!! but not that i expected that it’s really till NIL privacy..

everyone that comes in and out of the office pratically can see my desk, and what I am doing.. .. .. everyone is so near to everyone… and to be honest  I was a bit annoyed today when the operation staff was on here and they started shouting, talking, laughing, or busy doing something “like behind my back”.. the noise level is 100% blasting behind me…

Well well i think i have to faster adpat to this environment, if not i will never “scream” never able to work…. task that take me probably half a day ends up like a mission impossible to me!!!

Secretly, i hoping praying that maybe the office will be shifted, or even “re-organise” so that i can at least have some private moments… ha ha at least for the past jobs, I had always kena the shifting, moving office from place to place task.. so why not one more time right? and i seriously don’t mind this time..

haiz…. so which means no MORE Msn/ facebook for me even during lunch time..

poor me :(

Sony Mp3

walkman_w202

I want to get this MP3 player!!! Finally (maybe not, but at least this caught my eye), a MP3 player that is sleek, hip and most importantly it “WIRELESS”… … i like it!

now, which colour to get?? White is OUT!…so which to choose.. i am confused!!

tell me your choice lei… i want to get this over these few days as my farewell / new job gift for myself :)

ShoppingLifestyle Magazine Readers' Contest: Win A Louis Vuitton Neverfull Bag

it’s the final countdown… one more week and i will be out of the “glamorous” hotelier line.. and back to the maybe not too glam F&B line.. ha  ha…

Taken some time ago during my “housekeeping” of my work area.. i know it’s damn freaking messy.. but well, there’s like five years of stuff accumulated… you name it, i probably will have it… from countless pair of heels to jackets, storybooks, DVD, comestic even to nipple sticker ha ha… i got shocked when doing the packing too!!! guess somehow or not, it’s has become a 2nd mini home to me…

So i leaving with a mixed feeling (happy that I finally taking a new career move after such a long hiatus, sad to leave a place i almost called home)…  

Picture

Almost done with the packing and stuff, will show you a photo of the really nice working area when all is been cleared up.. it’s really a blessing to have such a cozy area which i know for sure that this is one part that i really going to miss a lot!

am i touched??

Someone wrote me a very long email…. i will keep the content a hush-hush… Joyce, Samantha – i will email you both to analyse” the email…

this paragraph strikes me a lot… dose he really know me so well?  well i was reading this, my tears dropped. How can he describe me so perfect, the way i will describe myself..

Guess I see a really genuine person in you, one who dares to curse and swear @ things or people whom irritate you, gets easily emotional @ times but passionate about certain things in life all at once. What really strikes me is that u r extremely vulnerable @ times yet has that take charge personality other times.

I had a fight with DL today… and it kindda break my heart when i read his sms… and this email crafted by R came… Probably any woman that read R’s email will be touched.. but my heart is not with the email…i  read through with tears… but who am i crying for?? i think i really lost the power of love, and the ability to love someone all over again..

why is love such a irritaing phase…


除了你之外的空白 
还有谁能来教我爱

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